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question vs answers – day 18
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Doubts are good.
They result in an inquiry and questions.
Questions result in building deeper understanding, reflection and trust.
How are you dealing with doubts? Do you see them as opportunities to build deeper relationships?
question vs answers – day 17
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In an increasingly complex world, sometime old questions require new answers.
question vs answers – day 16
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Have you tried answering a question by asking another?
“One day Akbar asked Birbal, “Birbal, can you tell me how many bangles are on your wife’s hand?” Birbal said, “No, your majesty, I cannot.” “You cannot? Although every day you see her hand, still you cannot tell how many bangles are on her hand. How is that?” said Akbar.
Birbal said, “Let’s go to the garden, Your Majesty. And I will tell you “How is that” and they both went to the garden. They both went down a small staircase which led to the garden. After reaching in the garden Birbal asked, “You daily climb up and down this small staircase, could you tell how many steps it has?”
Akbar smiled and then changed the subject.”
source: Akbar Birbal stories for children
Framing your question to drive deeper self-reflection in a similar context can be a powerful tool. What are you solving today?
question vs answers – day 15
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Do questions sap your energy? Yes, they often do because you are looking at what is not working, finding solutions and fixing it. It is a “deficit based” technique that focuses on what is not present.
What would happen if you focussed on ‘what is working’? What does it do your energy? I have experienced that it not only impacts the energy of both the parties in a conversation.
Anchoring your inquiry in strengths, a positive core and focus on what is working is the basis of ‘Appreciative inquiry’. Coaching conversations use this technique extensively to leverage the power of positive questions, scenarios, visualization to build up self-esteem, courage and clarity.
In a performance/job interview, try:
Appreciative Inquiry enables breakthroughs as one moves a set of powerful questions across the 4D model of Discover, Dream, Design and Deliver phases envisioning – what is working, what it can be, check-in with reality and commitment to achieve it. This is not limited to coaching or one-on-one conversations, it has helped org drive change, adapt to new ways of working and develop new processes.
What are you appreciating today that is working? What strengths are you looking at?
question vs answers – day 14
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Do the following hold you back from asking questions?
Research shows that questions help in building “likability quotient” and interpersonal rapport. Up your game by including a set of questions that promote reflection, deeper conversation, help you understand the person you are meeting better.
Some examples:
“What is does success look like for this position/project/role?”
“Empathy is a core value for the organization. How does it play it out in day-to-day work?”
“Do you think you are ready for the next promotion?”
“Do you wish to explore if something is holding you back?”
Remember to sequence the questions appropriately, ask in the right tone and do not appear interrogative. It needs practice and consistent effort.
What questions you could have asked in the meeting yesterday?
question vs answers – day 13
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“I know you won’t believe me, but the highest form of human excellence is to question oneself and others” – Socrates
The Socratic method of questioning is a 2500 year old technique based on disciplined, thoughtful dialogue by asking a series of focused, open-ended questions that encourages reflection.
question vs answers – day 12
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The rule of awkward silence
Most of us respond to questions immediately, almost like a call for duty!
When facing a challenging question or even while presenting for long duration or in a conversation with a loved one, try the rule of awkward silence. It’s simple: pause and reflect about how you want to answer.
Next time, if someone asks you a challenging question, instead of jumping to answer it, pause for 5, 10, 15 seconds. It is very effective to allow your brain to think and process, balance your emotions and provide deeper, thoughtful answers.
Read on how some famous business leaders and thinkers apply the rule of awkward silence.
Oct 3 2020
question vs answers – day 11
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Ravi: “You are just an employee, don’t go by the fancy designation that you hold. At the end of day, toe the line. That is what your manager wants. She does not want to you question her”.
Geeta: “I have grown through the ranks by speaking my mind, asking questions. It has helped me solve business problems and grow revenues. I know my questions make her feel insecure ever since I have moved to the leadership group”.
Ravi: “focus on your salary and next promotion. You will burn your bridges with your manager otherwise”
Geeta stays quiet, absorbs and struggles to change her approach.
She is solving for others on front foot, continues to represent the leadership group in open house sessions, virtual townhalls, coffee connects with Q&A time.
Her own questions are parked for when she receives a feedback about not being assertive, not exhibiting leadership skills or a coaching conversation on what is holding her back or an exit interview…
Do you encourage questions from your colleagues, team members or do they make you insecure? Are you asking questions or toeing the line?
question vs answers – day 10
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Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why?
Bernard M.Baruch
Are you asking questions to discover, change, create a better world?
question vs answers – day 9
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“Why is writing this book important to you?”
And after a long pause, my coachee said that, “Umm…huh…this is a good question” and went on to almost become transported in a different world as she responded to this questions painting a picture of what this book means to her, childhood dreams, fears and desire.
What came out was a renewed determination and action plan with timelines for her to pick up the pen again and ‘ride the wave’ of this energy that she created for herself during the conversation.
#Coaching involves using a series of focused yet open questions, we can unpack beliefs and deeply-held values. A conversation like this promotes greater self-awareness, expands possibilities and produces insights that we are unable to think alone.
What questions are you reflecting on today?
question vs answers – day 8
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“Questions you cannot answer are usually far better for you than answers you cannot question.”
– Yuval Noah Harari
question vs answers – day 7
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Life before search engines was spent in libraries, with teachers, elders, wise people, travelling to find answers, meeting people…you did not have access to indexed files that can look up with world wide web and give you the answer in a jiffy.
A question today cannot go without being searched on the internet! From the recipe to life’s purpose….
Do you know that the first search engine turned 30 this month?
Archie, considered to be the first search internet search engine developed for indexing and searching specific files in the archives. It was implemented in 1990 by Alan Emtage, then a post graduate McGill University in Montreal.
In the late 90’s, your search engines were Yahoo, Alta Vista, Lycos before Google became synonymous with looking things up on the Internet.
Are there any questions that you are solving for without using the internet? Is that your default mode? Remember it will give you what it has indexed. And before I close, Archie was a name derived from ‘archives’ unless you thought of the cartoon character.
question vs answers – day 6
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Have your tried solving a problem by asking questions?
Problem solving through questions is an old technique.
You might have heard about 5 Whys technique that results in connecting with the root cause of a problem and hence find a solution at a deeper level. It is the basis of consulting skills and first step when we look at a client problem. It’s a different this that the client might not want to work at root cause in the short-term but the awareness that emerges is immense. Sharing an example:
Why 1 – Vidya has resigned from her corporate job where she is doing well
Why 2 – She will work full-time with women who aspire to grow or return back to work
Why 3 – 50% Indian women drop out of workforce before the age of 30
Why 4 – Lack of support during critical life stages, fatigue in managing several life roles, managing guilt and constant prioritisation of work vs. family
Why 5 – Social, cultural, organisational norms, definition of success, erosion of self-belief
Sakichi Toyoda, inventor, and founder of Toyota Industries, developed the 5 Whys technique in the 1930s. It became popular in the 1970s, and Toyota still uses it to solve problems today.
Are you solving the right problems? Do you look at the root cause to find long term sustainable solutions or address them at surface level?
I am looking at powerful questions and why they are important. For the series of posts started last week see comments or leave a message.
question vs answers – day 5
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Some of the best questions come in from the most unexpected people at the most offbeat places! How do you feel when this happens? Do you get irritated or curious?
Meanwhile, do try to take a shot at the question below.
question as answers – day 4
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Do you know that questions can impact your subsequent behaviour?
This far we have explored the importance of deep, reflective questions and the need for us to engage with them(see earlier posts in comments). Today, we talk about simple inconspicuous questions that come to everyday – do you use “abc’ app? Do you plan to buy a car or laptop or study table? Do you do yoga? Does your toothpaste have…so on and so forth.
Measuring the intent or engaging in checking the intention is a phenomena in behaviour psychology called: Mere-measurement effect.
This has its origin in the work ‘Does measuring intent change behaviour’ by social scientists Vicki Morwitz, Eric Johnson, and David Schmittlein. In 1993, they conducted a study with more than 40,000 participants that revealed that simply asking someone if people were going to purchase a new car within six months increased their purchase rates by 35%. Since then it has been demonstrated in multiple behavioural contexts most commonly used to explain consumer behaviour. See article in comments.
Asking questions and more importantly engaging in answering them can possibly result in driving behaviour change. When our mind works to answer a questions, it results in accessing our attitudes which guide behaviour. Increased attitude accessibility results in going deeper into thoughts, feelings, beliefs. As one becomes more aware of intentions, it can cause shift in attitude and intention itself resulting in behaviour change.
So choose the questions that you answer!
What questions are you reflecting on today?
question vs answers – day 3
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“the wound is the place where the light enters you” – Rumi
Similarly, a difficult question can result in breakthroughs, if you allow it to do its job. Notice the discomfort, observe, expand possibilities, seek support…
Are you letting the difficult questions do their job or do you brush them aside? Coaching is about asking the right questions that will help you move forward in life.
What difficult questions do you plan to embrace today? What breakthrough are you delaying?
question vs answers – day 2
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Asking questions
small questions – small discoveries
bigger questions – big discoveries
even if you know what to ask – the answer may surprise you
asking enormous questions – can create enormous problems
Stick withe question and see where it takes you.
Pic: Grant Snider
question vs answers – day 1
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Some disciples once complained to their Guru, “You tell us stories, but you never reveal their meaning to us”.
The Guru replied: “How would you like it if someone offered you a fruit and chewed it before giving it to you!”
I have come to believe that it is powerful to have questions as takeaway rather than answers that do not fit in your world. Coaching offers you the space to see the world from your point of view and expand to options. A coach holds the space for you to create. Get support, if you need.
What questions are you reflecting on? Do share what this story reveals to you!